You are the only exception.

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry and curse at the wind.
He broke his own heart and I watched as he tried to reassemble it.
And my momma swore that she would never let herself forget.
And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love if it does not exist.

But Darling,
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts.
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone.
Keep a straight face.
And I've always lived like this keeping a comfortable distance.
And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness.
Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

I've got a tight grip on reality,
but I can't let go of what's in front of me here.
I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up.
Leave me with some kind of proof its not a dream.

You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.
You are the only exception.

I'm on my way to believing
And I'm on my way to believing

cheerio!

huuh~

Pretender? Not anymore.
"Look at me, you may think you see who I really am, but you'll never know me. Every day, is as if I play apart. Now I see, if I wear a mask I can fool the world.."

I was a good pretender.

I thought pretending that everything's alright will make me feel better. I forced smiles and gave fake laughs to all my friends. I convinced myself that things are okay when I absolutely know that they're NOT okay at all. I pretended to be tough, to be happy, to be cheerful, in front of my friends because I don't want they all know that I am weak. I was wearing mask for years. No one knows the real me. The real Nadhira Prisari. Including you.

I used to be the one who's listening to those who needs someone to talk to, I used to be the shoulder for those who needs a place to lean on, I used to be the ears that keep listening for every words that they said, I used to be the one who's trying to always be there when those people needs friend, I used to be the hand that wipe those tears away, I used to be anything that my friends want me to be.

Again, I never thought that I'm gonna need someone like what I used to be. Someone who wants to be my hands, who wants to listen to every words I said, who wants to be my shoulder, who wants to be the ears, who always be there when I need them, who who wants to be anything that I want to. Because I - AM - TOUGH.

Have you ever think how many friends that I have? Hundreds maybe? Yeah, I do have them when I'm wearing my mask. They all besides me when I am happy. They all besides me when they need me. But where are them when I need them? Where are them when I feel weak? So, another secret is, I was a loner. Sigh. Loner and pretender. What else? Oh, I was a dork. I thought there's nothing can change the way I am because I was thinking that I have nobody who cares about me.

"....Must I pretend that i'm someone else for all time? Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?"


Sounds........ Tragic. Isn't it?


But then, God shows me that God does exist. God doesn't let me to face this fucking world alone. God gives me something that I really need. True friends.

I just realized that some of my true friends keep trying to put my mask off. They asked me whats wrong with me when everything seems so wrong, they said "Keep talk. I'm listening." when I want to share my stories even tho' I know it doesn't important, they call me, ping me, nudge me, or text me, and ask me what happen with me when something's wrong, they also makes me laugh when I feel stressed out with everything that they can do like inviting me to the conference talk or just take me away from my home or maybe come to my home. They won't let me pretends that everything's alright anymore.

They also taught me to face the truth even when the truth fucking hurts and taught me to be soft. Do not let the world makes it hard. Do not let the bitterness steal my sweetness. They taught me to be the real me. So, they finally did it. I put my mask off now, I am the real me. The selfish, dreamer, moody, and sarcastic one, but they still be friends of mine even though hey're know the real me.

I have no idea what to say to them because I know that thanks doesn't enough for everything that they have done to me. I just want to tell you guys, that I am really grateful for having you in my life. Thanks for making me throw my mask away. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Like I'm gonna repeat my 'thanks' until it sounds strange enough. Geez, you guys really the best thing ever happened to me. You know who you are, aren't you? So I don't have to put your name here :p


After read this, I bet you guys envy me for having such incredible friends like them.
k

wake up

tau apa sih orang lain tentang hidup kita ?
peduli apasih mereka sama kita ?
kalau kita gak ngelakuiin sesuatu terlebih dahulu mereka juga tak akan peduli dengan kita,iya bukan ?
fakta atau tidak gue cuma bisa berjalan diatas air yang mengalir yang terkadang dapat menghanyutkan gue seketika
percayakah kalian akan karma ?
sesuatu yang mustahil kah ?
mengharapkan belaian kasih dari sesuatu yang tak mungkin
memeluk.mencium.mengkhayal pun tak diizinkan
apa salah ?
gue bingung teramat bingung
sosoknya memang tak diinginkan di dalam diri gue
tapi bayangannya membuat hati gue luluh tak berdaya
oh tuhan
cobaan apa lagi yang kau beri untukku ?
tak cukupkah kau mengambil orang yang teramat aku sayangi ?
mama?dina?bejot?sena?fieman?kanza?vania?kadwi?
siapa lagi selanjutnya ?
jangan jangan jangan
jangan ambil yang lain
cukup mereka yang pergi dan menghilang entah kemana
jangan ambil rikha.jehan.citra.febrian.nadia.amin.nahdhiah
jangan tolong
aku dapet duduk disini karena mereka
mereka memberikan buih semangat yang lama tak aku dapatkan
special thanks for dhiba
maaf selama ini gue cuma bisa ngerepotin lo dan keluarga lo
tapi sumpah lo sepupu yang terbaik malah teramat baik mungkin
bayangkan saja dengan nemku yang tak besar dia sibuk mencarikan aku sekolah negeri ,sedangkan aku ?asyik mendengarkan lagu saja dan melihat selembar kertas yang berisi kumpulan nem
betapa kejikah aku ?